Clean Funny Jokes

Heart Transplant

An elderly patient needed a heart transplant and discussed his options with his doctor.

The doctor said, “We have three possible donors; tell me which one you want to use.

One is a young, healthy athlete who died in an automobile accident. T

he second is a middle-aged businessman who never drank or smoked and who died in his private plane.

The third is an attorney who just died after practicing law for 30 years.”

“I’ll take the lawyer’s heart,” said the patient.

Advice from lawyers

Walking past the Royal Courts of Justice one day, a man spotted a friend of his sitting on the steps outside, sobbing loudly with his head buried in his hands. "What's the matter?" he asked of his friend, "Did your lawyer give you bad advice ..?"

"No - it's worse than that," replied the friend between sobs, " he sold it to me..."

Why do Mummies like Christmas so much?

Why do Mummies like Christmas so much?
Because of all the wrapping!

What do wild animals sing at Christmastime?

What do wild animals sing at Christmastime?
Jungle bells, jungle bells, jungle all the way!

Why is it so cold at Christmas?

Why is it so cold at Christmas?
Because it's in Decembrrrr!

What's the best thing to give your parents for Christmas?

What's the best thing to give your parents for Christmas?
A list of everything you want!

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